Thursday, October 20, 2011

.what you put up with.

i ran across a quote the other day that really resonates with me- 'what you put up with, you end up with.' in life, we sometimes make concessions for what we are willing to tolerate. maybe your boss puts you on a project that asks too much, but you accept it anyway. maybe a friend asks a favor that overwhelms you, but you do it anyway. possibly your significant other requests something of you that you're not thrilled about, but you oblige anyway.

there are plenty of moments in life where we do, say or accept things that aren't what float our boats, but for the good of the relationship or work conditions as a whole, we do them. these exceptions to our better judgement are sometimes necessary evils. these are the things that bring the balance and compromise to our lives for the overall good.

on the other hand, the way we allow ourselves to be treated in general does define what we expect out of others in our life and for ourselves. if you are constantly a doormat to a bossy friend for instance, you allow yourself no room for control in the relationship. continuing to oblige and put up with what you dread in that friend will ultimately lead to your own dissatisfaction and resentment with that friendship.

with family and significant others, we often put up with more than what we would in our life's other relationships. from personal experience, i have dated in my past with more tolerance than happiness at times. when i reflect back on those times, i realize that because i put up with certain things, i continued to end up with them.

what i've learned throughout my time as an adult is that my best life is lived with a drive to have what i want out of it. let me explain. when my husband and i first began dating, i think it took him a little while to get used to one facet of my personality. my feelings often rush out of my mouth before my brain has a chance to filter them. what it created and still continues to create is an openness in our relationship that allows him to know at all times (maybe that part he could use a little less of) what i want out of our life together.

there is balance and compromise in our relationship, but i only put up with what i want to end up with. if i ever have a child, i will teach that child to expect nothing but the best for their own life and not to settle or put up with any less.

if you are in a relationship, situation, or predicament where you find yourself accepting less than you should, make the decision now that you will begin working on turning things around for yourself or will start to put barriers up to stop putting up with it. your reward will be living a better life.

hmm...i suppose i should take my own advice when it comes to dog obedience training...

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